When most people in Ontario think about estate planning, they think about documents.

Wills. Powers of attorney. Beneficiary designations.

Those are essential — but one of the most important parts of estate planning rarely shows up on paper at all. It’s the conversation families either have… or avoid.

This importance of this conversation is one we so often impress upon our clients. There is a long-held stigma surrounding wills and estate planning that secrecy is paramount, but open communication and transparency often helps to avoid conflict down the road.

That’s why I paid attention when Warren Buffett recently shared a piece of advice that feels almost too simple: parents should let their adult children see and understand their will before it’s finalized.

He wasn’t talking about asking permission or inviting debate. He was talking about avoiding confusion, resentment, and unnecessary conflict after death.

From an Ontario estate-planning perspective, that advice is right on the mark.

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Why Silence Causes Problems in Ontario Estates

Many parents believe that keeping their estate plan private will spare their children stress or prevent arguments.

In reality, silence often creates the very problems families hope to avoid.

In Ontario, estate disputes frequently arise not because a will is poorly drafted, but because beneficiaries are surprised. Unequal distributions, last-minute changes, or unexpected executor appointments can leave people feeling hurt, suspicious, or excluded.

Once emotions take over, families stop talking to each other — and start talking through lawyers.

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Why Explaining Unequal Gifts Matters

Consider a common scenario we’ve witnessed in practice.

Consider a common source of estate litigation that arises with which we have personally seen all too often.

A parent leaves a larger share of their estate to the child who provided most of the caregiving, while a more financially secure sibling receives less. From a legal standpoint, this type of unequal distribution is perfectly valid. The problem is rarely the decision itself. It is the surprise.

When these choices are discovered only after death, they can trigger not only resentment, but allegations of undue influence and demands for disclosure that can consume years and expensive legal fees.

By contrast, when a parent takes the time while alive to explain their reasoning, whether through a family meeting or a detailed letter of wishes, expectations are managed, resentment is reduced, and surviving children are far less likely to view the will as suspicious, even if they do not fully agree with every outcome.

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What Warren Buffett Gets Right About Estate Planning

Buffett’s advice isn’t really about money. It’s about clarity.

Letting your children understand your estate plan doesn’t mean giving up control. It doesn’t mean explaining every detail or every dollar. And it certainly doesn’t mean inviting approval or disagreement.

It means explaining your intentions while you’re still able to do so calmly and clearly.

When people understand the reasoning behind decisions, they are far less likely to challenge them later.

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Why This Matters Under Ontario Law

Once an estate dispute starts in Ontario, it can take years to resolve.

Legal fees are often paid from the estate itself. Executors are caught in the middle. Privacy disappears as court documents become public. Families that once functioned well may never recover.

Clear communication during life can:

• Reduce the risk of will challenges
• Protect executors from conflict
• Speed up estate administration
• Preserve family relationships

That’s not just good legal planning — it’s a thoughtful way to look after the people you care about.

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A Practical Takeaway for Ontario Families

If you’re reviewing or updating your estate plan, consider:

• Sharing the overall structure of your plan with adult children
• Explaining unequal distributions in advance
• Letting your executor know why they were chosen
• Making sure your intentions are clearly documented

Estate planning isn’t only about what happens after death. It’s about making things easier for the people left behind.

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Final Thought

Warren Buffett’s message is simple but powerful: surprises belong at birthday parties, not at estate readings.

In Ontario, where estate disputes are costly and emotionally exhausting, a thoughtful conversation today can save families years of stress tomorrow.

For estate planning services that prioritize both legal precision and family harmony, contact our Etobicoke office. We help families throughout Etobicoke, Greater Toronto, Mississauga, Brampton, Burlington, and Oakville create estate plans that work for everyone involved.